Pittsburgh Pirates 2010 Review Part IV: Nobody Died


 

Pittsburgh Pirates fans have been living this overused statement for such a long time there are rumors it will be the Pirates 2011 motto.  As we take a look back on the Pirates 2010 season, we must say that June was an exciting, yet ugly month for the Bucs.  

The good news.  The youth arrived.  

Now let’s get the bad news out of the way. 

If only the Bucs could have made that twelve game losing streak vanish.  Or that awful road losing streak that they brought into the month and we gave up counting at like 13.  Remember, heading into the month of June, the schedule seemed to favor the Pirates as the Bucs would be facing teams 21 games under .500.  So much for our analysis on that subject.

The good news started on the first day of June when Altoona Curve pitcher Tim Alderson was named the Eastern League Pitcher-of-the-Week.   After a rough start ( 24 hits in his first 19.2 IP)he had worked on getting extension in his mechanics and it paid off after going 2-0 with 10 strikeouts and a 0.69 ERA.  

The Pittsburgh Pirates had a pitcher named Pitcher-of-the-Week  for four straight weeks.  But the pain would come. 

Alderson was also named one of the top prospects in the system by Baseball America which in retrospect was laughingly off base considering his BP curve and un-Audobon like fastball.  It was painful to watch Alderson’s dramatic slide especially when Freddy Sanchez was dancing to a World Series victory a few months later.   The good news is there is still time for Alderson to get fixed, we can’t say how many surgeries it will take to get Sanchez fixed.

It was also painful to hear about some secrets kept from Pirates fans when Fox scooped the Pittsburgh media on the top-secret extensions to Neal Huntington and John Russell.    Let’s just say it stung a little bit to hear so much bullshit about Pirates internal policy. 

Just like the sting that was felt on what seemed like a daily basis every time  former Bucco Jose Bautista hit another bomb.  But Joey Bats couldn’t touch the injury news that was bestowed on Pirates fans in June.  

Catcher Tony Sanchez suffered a broken jaw. 

The pain was culminated in the Oakland series which was lowlighted by Ryan Church tiptoeing around right field and eventually colliding with Neil Walker.   Walker lay prone on the Athletics turf for what seemed like an eternity.

Walker got to his feet, but would miss several games from concussion like symptoms.

A few games later Milledge and Crosby collided giving TV sports highlight shows the need to create charts tracking the Pirates collisions.   At the time, it looked like there would be more concussions and collisions than victories in the month of June.

The losses kept coming at a torrid pace.  Pirates fans were pissed when the Bucs hit 50 losses before the month of June ended.

But no lives were lost. 

So back to the good news.  The Pirates set the table for the highest stakes poker game in their draft history when the Bucs took Jameson Taillon and Stetson Alllie.  The Dead Man’s Hand as we called it in the article below.

June also brought the much anticipated arrival of Pedro.   We took some pics as we tried to ignore the yinzers who mocked the slugger. 

The debut of Pedro Alvarez was ugly. The Bucs lost 7-2 and committed more errors than they had hits.

The last week of June was my inspiration.  It gets tough just making PhotoShops that mock my favorite baseball team.  When the Bucs took two out of three from the self destructing Cubs, it saved the month for us.

Another thing that made the month of June a special one was when the Pirates banned hillbillies from coming through the turnstiles at PNC Park.  Below is our coverage on one of the best decisions the front office ever made.

PITTSBURGH–The Pirates lost their eleventh game in a row and the team now sits 20 games under .500 at 23-43. Something needed to be done and the Pirates management acted in a stealth like manner when the Pirates President announced that hillbillies will no longer be allowed at PNC Park. It was a bold move by an organization that is desperately trying to rebuild its’ fan base.

From the Pirates statement: “If you own several dozen shotguns, still miss Nate McLouth, have gone barefoot while impersonating Nyjer Morgan getting caught stealing,  have worn a Jack Wilson floppy hat within the past 72 hours, drank moonshine and whiskey which was homemade while wondering how Jose Bautista got away, play the banjo or fiddle, drive old beat up pick up trucks with K-Dro stickers on the tailgate, have bad teeth, are poorly educated, have a beard, or your last name is Perrotto, ……. these people will no longer be allowed to enter PNC Park.”

Twenty-five minutes after the announcement was officially made public, PNC Park sold out the weekend series against cross-state rival, the Cleveland Indians. A Pirates spokesman said, “we banned hillbillies last October, but as organizational policy, we didn’t feel the need to announce it to the fans. It’s a distraction.”

Kurt Evans, a 19-year old VP of Creation for a local Pirates blog said, “As a diehard Pirates fan who has been following this team for nearly 20 consecutive losing seasons, I really wanted to be at PNC Park without the assholes.”

“I was here last evening too. Fans booed Pedro Alvarez after his first at-bat,” said Lori Smith, “it’s idiotic. He has played two games.”

The hillbilly Pirates fans, who have been obviously discriminated against, are expected to make an announcement today. It could come as soon as 10AM from the Pirates FANS for Change radio station: 93.7TheFAN.

The President of the hillbilly group, Mr. Ron Cook, earlier this week said GM Neal Huntington should call up Pedro Alvarez to the Major Leagues to save his job:

“Huntington has to be running out of time. He’s in the final season of a three-year contract and management has given no indication it plans on extending him. There’s a good reason for that. Overall, he hasn’t done a very good job.”

Today it was also announced Huntington was signed to an extension. The extension was signed last October. Nice. We won’t miss your beard at PNC Mr. Cook.

Follow us on Twitter until we get enough courage together to look at the month of July and August. 

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