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Stories of the Pittsburgh Pirates Season Ending Tragically Suck
By Tom Smith
Everywhere I turn today, I
find stories about the Pirates demise. Most go something like this lazy shit…..If it ended today, the Pirates season is still special. Blah. Blah. Blah. Lick my hairy ass. Screw. Special.
The season isn’t over. What on earth would possess people to even believe that the Pirates have dotted the i on this season?
What happened? Has everyone lost their minds? A very difficult stretch of games makes writers give up?
How can giving up on this team even be possible when this ballclub, this worn down team who doesn’t possess one player with an average over .300–hell, probably even 290, wait let me check those facts, ahhh… screw it. I’m going to go….
The club battled against the Braves and Phillies. Both pitching staffs had rocket arm rotations going at the battleworn, sabr challenged, regression staring at them most of the season Bucs. Really? You’re giving up NOW? What the fuck is wrong with you?
The club has not used an excuse all year. Not one. Not even after getting bent over the Atlanta freeway after 19 innings by Jerry says it’s safe Meals. Why would anyone give up on this club?
But some seem to think it’s over. Apparently it’s over because the Cubs beat us?
Everyone from bloggers I used to admire, to the Post-Gazette, to USA Today. They are all pulling the plug in one sort of confusing game of what if after another. What. Ever.
If you want a tragic story cover the broken beer bottles in the picture. The 2011 Pittsburgh Pirates will be just fine without you. Go ahead. Jump.
Don’t you get it? This is the part in the story when it looks the darkest. Surely you’ve watched great teams come together when it looks the darkest haven’t you?
Now please ignore that doom and gloom and find us a solid bullpen arm on the waiver wire like a good loyal fan of the Pirates would do.
The 2011 Pittsburgh Pirates are anything but tragic. Embrace the miracle. Bitches.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DuhWWnZZOE