Pittsburgh Pirates Owner Bob Nutting Deserves Your Vote for President

The United States is in trouble. Bob Nutting knows a thing or two about trouble. The CEO of Ogden Enterprises has gained majority ownership of the Pittsburgh Pirates and has led the franchise out of the darkest of days.

The debt is nearly gone, and worries about the Bucs future in Pittsburgh are now a thing of the past.

It’s time Bob Nutting does the same thing for our country.  Bob Nutting deserves your vote today.

Bob Nutting deserves your vote

Chrissy brought up the idea on twitter, and it’s brilliant.

Now, we understand that millions of you are going to be upset with the thought of losing Bob Nutting as the majority owner of your beloved Pittsburgh Pirates.   But Nutting’s time here is done.  He has taken this franchise from… um, he has put the… um…   well, let’s face it, the Bucs are insanely profitable.

It’s time to cut Bob Nutting loose.  His work here is done.  Face it, our country needs him.

Abraham Lincoln was a bartender;  surely a baseball team owner can make it.

President Bush Sr. vomited on the Japanese Prime Minister, and created a new word in the Japanese language.    The word is Bushusuru   which means “to do the Bush thing,” or to publicly vomit.   The rest of America would quickly learn the meaning of  ‘Thanks for Nutting.’    Didn’t Bush’s kid own a ball team or something, too?   Hell, maybe what the Iranian Prime Minister needs is a good Nuttingusuru?

Since Nutting hasn’t said anything in more than a month about the team he owns, we think he could certainly best George Washington’s shortest inauguration speech on record which was just 133 words and less than two minutes long.

Do the right thing for your country today.  Vote Bob Nutting for President of the United States of America.