Ryan Doumit Needs Kentucky Fried

Pirates catcher Ryan Doumit doesn’t have a hit yet in his minor league rehab assignment. The stretch for the switch hitting Bucco has reached 0-for-20.  Well, we were thinking about this as we watched the movie Major League last night.  The answer for Ryan (and perhaps the Pirates in general) is to get Jobu out of storage.  Or try and buy a Jobu.  Something needs done quickly.

You remember Jobu, don’t you.  I have some cigars and rum, give me a call and we will get this fixed.  The stretch has reached twenty at bats, that calls for serious measures.  Jobu will rescue you Ryan. 

 

Doumit is a solid hitter for the Pirates lineup.  A lineup that is desperately seeking another bat. (or four).

 

Heading into yesterday’s game, the Pirates lineup had the following averages with RISP:

 

Cutch 357

Wilson 313

Young 292

Jones .000

AndyL 264

Adam 218

Diaz 343

Vazquez 214

 

Those RISP averages have been diving south lately for the Pirates.  Especially over the past few games.  Where did the offense go?  It’s apparent the team can hit the ball which is demonstrated by their solid average.  The problem is they are a great singles hitting team. 

  

Doumit hit .318 last year with a 357OBP, 501 Slugging, and 858 OPS.  It’s a no brainer that the Pirates need players like Ryan Doumit are needed to produce the much needed pop in the lineup.    

 

 

Or perhaps instead of sacrificing a live chicken for Jobu, maybe some Kentucky Fried Chicken would work?  It worked for Wade BoggsMore baseball superstitions including the Turk Wendell list which still amazes me: 

Wendell insisted that the umpire roll the ball to the mound rather than simply throw it to him.  If an ump would be an ass and throw the ball to him, Wendell was known to let it go past him, or even bounce it off his chest, and pick it off the ground.

 

Whenever he would start a new inning, Wendell would turn and wave to the center fielder and wait for him to wave back before pitching.

 

Wendell would draw three crosses in the dirt on the mound.

 

Once Turk got in a ‘’who has more testicles’’ contest with Lance Armstrong.  He won by 7.

 

When the catcher would stand, Wendell would crouch.

 

Wendell would always take a tremendous leap over the baseline.  Remember him now?

 

Wendell would chew black licorice rather than chewing tobacco.

 

He would brush his teeth between innings.

 

Wendell would sometimes throw his glove into the stands when leaving a game.

 

MY FAVORITE, HE WORE THE JERSEY NUMBER 99 IN HONOR OF WILD THING VAUGHN.

 

In 2000, he signed a contract worth $9,999,999.99

 

 

 

Topics: Ryan Doumit, Turk Wendell, Wade Boggs

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