From Wiz Khalifa To James Harrison: 10 Reasons Why Baltimore Sucks And Pittsburgh Rocks

Wiz Khalifa is one of the hottest artists in the country, the Charm City Devils aren’t.  Michael Oher tweets during a game while James Harrison sacks quarterbacks, there are many reasons why Pittsburgh rocks and Baltimore  blows. 

We settled at ten.  In fact, there is only one thing  I love about Baltimore, the fact the Pittsburgh Steelers are in their town to take control of the AFC North.  

1.  The Charm City Devils are the number one reason Baltimore blows.  Get your own song.


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Like this one from Wiz Khalifa, the Hottest Breakthrough MC in 2010:

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2.  Joe Flacco blows for introducing that video.  Screw your best passer rating since week five Flacco.  Screw your 13 TD and 2 INT hot streak;  Ben Roethlisberger owns Baltimore with five straight wins.  Ben is playing with a broken foot and a bionic boot tonight.  Word is he is going to take a shot to numb the pain just to get on the field.  Ben has two Super Bowl rings, what do you have Joe? 

3.  Flacco seriously said he is going to keep an eye on Troy Polamalus hair?    Apparently those Head and Shoulders commercials have paid off.

We definently have plays that depend on reading the hair of Troy Polamalu.—-Baltimore QB  Joe Flacco (as reported by Sal Palantonio)

4. Grown men should not wear purple.  Not that there is anything wrong with that, but grown men wear black.  Everyone knows that.

5.  When the Ravens beat writer needs to call for a purple out and then asks Ravens fans to contact The Baltimore Sun if they are selling tickets for the game tonight, well…. we have to question your fanhood.  Or the writers sanity?  Sorry to tell you Ravens fans, but Pittsburgh writers don’t make up inflated attendance figures by the opposition.

6.  As we cruised the streets of Baltimore tonight, there are signs downtown  that say ‘Hegh Big Ben, No Means No in Baltimore!’   Ahh, it’s nice to see what a great education the Charm City provides, stay classy Baltimore. We aren’t going to talk about your Super Bowl MVP beating a rap.  (Or those scary ass Old Spice commercials.)

7.  The Ravens offensive lineman/Hollywood star Michael Oher got fined for tweeting during a game.  Meanwhile Pittsburgh Steelers LB James Harrison was throwing around Buffalo Bills like rock salt. 

Harrison has 10 sacks, six forced fumbles, 75 tackes, two interceptions and ZERO twitter followers. Photoshop: OneForTheOtherThumb.com

8.  It’s time for yours.  Fill in your comment below and we will make you famous.  Wow.  It’s 3am and I have some drinking to do.  Let’s wrap this up.

9.  Baltimore girls?  Pittsburgh girls?  We better go online to see what we can find…..heh, wow….come on Ravens chick, you gotta do those nappy roots too.

Quit texting me bimbo, you're not getting my ticket

10.  Remember last season when the Ravens didn’t want to play in prime time? WTF?  

 The Ravens have “asked not to be considered for a prime-time game at Heinz Field this season when they submitted their scheduling requests to the league,”  Jamison Hensley, Baltimore Sun  2009

Check us out on Twitter as we attempt to stay sober in Baltimore as we bring you action from Stillers vs. Ravens–the National Flagfootball Game of the Week.

Next post will be photos of the game unless the Pirates do one of three things:  sign Manny/extend Cutch/fire Hurdle

Topics: Baltimore, Ben Roethlisberger, James Harrison, Joe Flacco, M&T Bank Stadium, Pittsburgh Steelers, Ravens, Wiz Khalifa

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  • Drew Kirby

    lets clear some things up. Wiz has bitten song structures countless times before black n yellow came out. he says nothing about pirates penguins or steelers anyway. hes representing the city not any franchizes. Michael Oher tweeted to let people know the injury wasnt serious, and was he supposed to be making sacks instead? it wasn’t suggs or lewis that was tweeting. pittsburgh general public isn’t exactly full of scholars. I live in pa and 90% of steeler fans have never been to pittsburgh and are found at bars early and responding late. Im pretty sure flacco shares a record for postseason record as a rookie, and check the last 5 scores of when pittsburgh came to Baltimore. Ravens won 4 of them. they already went the ketchup stadium and won. Steelers didnt get in playoffs year after getting a ring. Steelers simply aren’t a better team this year so your ranting and shot taking is simply sore losing.

    • http://rumbunter.com Tom Smith

      Yep. I’m a sore loser. Good luck the rest of the year.

  • Jerry T.

    Reason #11…………That stupid name. Ravens are vicious but cowardly roadkill-eating, garbage-picking crows that carry West Nile virus. Baltimore named its team “the Ravens” after the famous poem by Edgar Allan Poe, a drunk from Boston (Boston, for Christ’s sake!) who married his 13-year old cousin (ewwwww!). Poe’s only connection to Baltimore was dying there after being found wandering around incoherent and wearing someone else’s clothes, like some nutbag. (from kentonkilgore.com – thanks kenton for that awesome research!) The Steelers – named after grit and hard working people of a city that helped forged this country….sounds a bit like last night eh? Bloody, broken nose…..blatent cheap shot on a defenseless receiver with OBVIOUS intent to injure…no flag…must have been a borderline hit…whatever. Baltimore you will never have the heart and soul that beats in Pittsburghers…at least you do have….CRABS! And Mr. Kirby…not sure where in PA (yes you do capitalize state abbreviations) you claim to live….90% of Steeler fans have never been to Pittsburgh….what color is the sky in your world? (Likely a bruised, dark purple today :) )

    • Tom

      Steelers….. white trash steel mill workers

  • Tom

    So the best rapper you have is wiz khalifa? There is this one guy named Tupac from Baltimore not sure if you knew that…

    • http://rumbunter.com Tom Smith

      RIP. Sorta like the playoff Ravens in Pittsburgh

    • John

      Tupac lived in Baltimore for like two years when he was 14… that doesn’t count so try again. Oh yeah, thats right Baltimore doesn’t have any rappers, or anything worth talking about. Enjoy crabcakes

  • Jr

    As someone who lives in Baltimore, I think it’s hilarious when people who represent Baltimore try to put Pittsburgh down. You don’t even know what you are saying.

    • http://rumbunter.com Tom Smith

      You confused me Jr.

  • Anthony Gaines

    Wiz khalifa my nigga but to talk about Bmore now hold up Los will fuckin smash pittsburgh single handitly talkin about baltimore got no rappers lol

  • charles

    Wiz khalifa is one of the best rappers ever i think nd im from baltimore nd love the ravens. but fuck pittsburg ben only has rings cuz hes been in da league longer. flacco only been in the league for 3 years nd out them 3 years he did more than ben did in his first 3years so fuck off. but i do fucks wit wiz hard

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