Felix Pie homered and drove in four runs for Baltimore

Pittsburgh Pirates Caffeine


Screw consistency, give us more cowbell

Ross Ohlendorf might need this today.

Ross Ohlendorf isn’t known for pitching well in Spring Training.

Ohlendorf sucks during Spring Training.  It continued today.  The smartest man in the game of professional baseball watched as three balls left his powerful right hand and then shortly thereafter, left the fancy new digs named after my great, great, great uncle.  ahem.  The Bucs fell to the Balitmore Orioles (again) 11-7 last night.

Take this one grain of salt from the game.  The team isn’t rolling over.

Ohlendorf is winless in four decisions during Grapefruit League action.  Last night the Orioles torched him for six on nine hits in just 4.2 innings.   The success of the Pirates could rest on just how well Ohlie can pitch this season.   He has been a faint bright spot for the Pirates pitching staff when healthy.  He is being counted on to improve in 2011 and with balls rocketing all over the Florida air last night, Ohlie seemed overmatched.

“We’re going to find out when the regular season comes, it’s not so much the quantity of his pitches, but the quality that has to improve. He’s aware of that. Once the bell rings we find out where we go from there. But he’s got work in front of him.”

The Bucs got four homers in the game.  Neil Walker hit two solo bombs, Lyle Overbay had a two-run homer, and Josh Rodriguez also went yard in the loss.

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PNC Park comes up with the text a drunk program that allows fans to Narc on other Pirates fans, meanwhile the team that treats the Bucs like the Bad News Bears, the freakin Milwaukee Brewers do something practical, something hip, something that lazy asses like me would love.  Order food from your cushy seat at the ball yard.  Yeh, you heard us.

Ballparks in the NL Central are quickly becoming more hip.  Maybe the Bucs are saving the cool stuff until the last few days to divert our attention from the current state of their pitching staff.

So yeh, Brewers fans will no longer need to spend time waiting in line at concession stands.  If fans use a new app, orders can be placed right from their beer soaked seats at Miller Park.  The food joints will send a text when the food is ready and on it’s way to being delivered.  Did I tell you I hate the Brewers… today?

How is this for hip.  The Reds picked up some Delta Airlines executives to help teach the Reds Way.  What’s the Reds Way?  Hell if we know.  Ask Marty.  And what in the world are executives from the airline industry doing teaching service?

Apparently, Reds fans are going to be greeted with smiles and less cluelessness on behalf of the stadium staff.  Pretty amazing stuff……Ladies and gentlemen, click below if you are interested in THE REDS WAY.

What a joke.  Not Marty.  The Reds.  Marty’s an ass.

There is one problem with Beyond The Box Score’s look at the National League’s fifth starters:  Charlie Morton is number fifteen.

Tom Gorzelanny checks in at number eight which stings for Pirates fans a little bit.

With Houston’s 37-year old Nelson Figueroa at the sixteen spot every other team in the division checks in on Satchel’s post ahead of the Pirates from Kyle McClellan at eleven, Chris Narveson of the Brewers at ten, Andrew Cashner of the Cubs at nine and Mike Leake at five.

The mandatory daily reading on Clint Hurdle is inspirational and will ___________ the Pirates _______ to ___________ .   Heh, we outlasted the space shuttle too…or something stupid Stark writes.

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