Clint Hurdle is possessed. How else do you explain his quote for being agressive last night:
I’d rather try and slow down a horse that’s running hard than kick a mule that’s not running at all.
We often joke on RumBunter that Hurdle does and says whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and how he wants. Which explains, the spray painted DH letters over our proud RumBunter logo since Hurdle was hired.
But tonight…tonight he even blew me away. There will be no photoshops in a RumBunter post for the first time in well, forever. You can blame Hurdle.
So from what I understand after listening to the radio briefly on my way home from work, there was a play last night against the Washington Nationals where Paul Maholm was asked to suicide squeeze…no way…no way, I simply can’t believe it.
Paul Maholm tried to score Chris Snyder on a suicide squeeze bunt?
There is no way. No. Possible. Way.
Paul Maholm is an awful bunter. He always has been. Maholm has pitched great this season and he is to be commended for his valiant efforts on the mound. But he has a mentality that he doesn’t need to go to mini camp with the other guys to get any better at the detailed, highly professional parts of his craft as a professional baseball player.
How Maholm is allowed/leans on union rules to get away with it is a topic for another day. We don’t pay Maholm.
Shit. Good for him if he gets paid well and doesn’t have to report to camps designed to improve fundamentals. That’s his right as a ML baseball player. But let’s just state one fact.
Paul Maholm can’t bunt.
Aint’t gonna learn how to bunt.
Ain’t gonna be good at it.
On this day of our lord, May Sixteenth, Two thousand and eleven, we challenge Paul Maholm to have three consecutive sacrifice bunts.
So somehow Paul Maholm was called on to suicide squeeze Chris Snyder? Aren’t there only 27 outs Clint? Is this some type of twisted lesson? Is someone telling Paulie, look we aren’t going to provide any run support for you. Ever. Well, wait a minute……if you can pull off a suicide squeeze bunt with the slowest human on planet earth attempting to score from third we will get you two runs.
Hurdle said something about rolling the dice and it not working. Ok. Rolling the dice? No. We look at it this way….pretend Hurdle is talking to the team…. ’who is the worst bunter on this team?’ Nearly every hand would point to Maholm. ‘Ok guys who is the slowest guy on this team?’ Many hands would point to Snyder.
So with Maholm bunting on one die and Snyder running on the other die, Clint Hurdle let the dice fly. WOW. What was his reasoning? The Nats will never see this coming? Hell no they won’t. It won’t even matter, the odds of those dice coming up lucky snake eyes are pathetically bad. Managing with your gut is bad enough, but giving yourself the worst possible combination on a suicide squeeze is like loading a six shooter with six slugs and playing Russian roulette.
Damn, we would have had a photoshop bonanza if we didn’t miss this game. Now I am going to go back to trying to decipher that quote about a jackass.