Look. Sooner or later Matt Diaz is going to go deep. I can feel it in my gut.

Ten Ways the Pittsburgh Pirates Can Keep Losing

Embrace the losing, Pittsburgh Pirates fans

We have compiled some observations in case the Pittsburgh Pirates want to keep losing.  There is absolutely no charge for reading this information.  Because at RumBunter…. we love to gamble, we are going to share some of our strategy that has helped us lose thousands of dollars at casinos throughout the world.

Again, these are proven ways to lose.  No charge either.  Never say we don’t love you.  Here we go:

Stay up late.

Tip the hell out of the cocktail waitress–you know she wants you.

Keep going all in.

You’re due.  You’ll hit.  Go bigger.

Some of these same secret gold nuggets to losing will also apply to the game of baseball too.  The Pirates can keep up this losing streak by simply applying a few of them each game.



We certainly trust Clint Hurdle realizes how hard we have worked at putting this together for him.

1. Call a team meeting.

2. Start a timeline and looking ahead at upcoming series rather than just doing the old ‘one game at a time approach.’  That approach sucks.  Trying to be too strategic is a waste of time.

3. Formulate a six man rotation strategy, don’t even think about adding a couple of arms off the waiver wire to add to this staff, and discuss skipping starts with the media to show a perceived lack of faith in players.  The last thing the team should do is sit down  a struggling player like oh….Kevin Correia.  Don’t tell Correia his next start will be skipped. Just tell the media that Brad Lincoln is a possibility.   The player in waiting always makes the struggling player improve their obvious lack of focus, preparation, and ultimately, their performance.

4. Defense is overrated. Start inserting those guys in the lineup that aren’t as strong defensively, but are “due.”

5. Go with hunches more. Managing with the gut more is a sure fire way to keep losing.

6. Bunt more. The game of baseball gives each team 27 outs, that’s insane.  It’s too many.  Give a few of those extra outs back.

7.  Concentrate on getting more productive outs too.  (That will reduce the over abundance of outs the Pirates are given each game)

8.  Work more.  Take more batting practice. Work harder. Press.

9.  Smiles should not exist during losing streaks.  Outlaw clubhouse pranks.

Save Joel Hanrahan, the best Pittsburgh Pirates reliever, for games when the team is winning.

10. Don’t overuse Joel Hanrahan. He is the closer.

In the end, losing builds character. Losing teaches lessons. Only a loser quits during a losing streak.

Follow RumBunter on Twitter

Next Pirates Game View full schedule »
Saturday, Aug 3030 Aug4:05Cincinnati RedsBuy Tickets

Tags: Clint Hurdle Pittsburgh Pirates

  • mean gene

    If the Bucs go to six starters they need to strengthen the bench, by DFAing Garrett Jones.

  • cocktailsfor2

    @mean gene

    You don’t think Paul or Diaz are weaker links? Or that Pearce could be sent to Indy? Or Wood passed thru waivers?

  • mean gene

    There are just so many holes in that roster. I could have said Doumit because they are the same guy, Jones and he, for a couple of reasons. The reasons are : neither play well in the field, and they’ve been in the ‘burgh too long.

  • dbazz5

    Big Bob Nutting just loves new technology. He recently purchased a refurbished Blackberry Pearl 8130 from an online used cellular site. A friend of his explained that you can now do conference calls from cell phones, as opposed to what a free-lance electrician had set up for him in the offices of PNC Park a couple of years ago. Nutting: Damn!….I’m gonna make a conference call with Neal & Coonelly right from the comfort of my home here in Wheeling!….And I don’t have to criss-cross any wires. (Nutting pulled out the “how to do” directions that were written on the back of a recent Eat ‘n Park receipt, and started dialing up his Regime cohorts) Nutting: Neal……You there? Huntington: Yes boss Nutting: Coonelly……You there? Coonelly: Gentleman….Bon Soir!…..From the city of lights better known as Paris, France. I was just taking a seat at my favorite bistro in the Latin Quarter. Care to join me?…..HaHa! Nutting: Damn Coonelly….You’re a real jet set guy! Coonelly: Well boss….I’ve learned that I can handle my business AND continue my salsa dancing hobby events at the same time…In-ter-national style! Nutting: Well, you’ve sure been doin’ a good job comrade. They’re packin’ em in over at PNC Park nightly. On top of it ….We haven’t had to do doodley! We still got the lowest damn payroll in all of Major League Baseball. I just want to take this golden opportunity to thank you both. We’ve shown all the critics they can wear egg on their faces that don’t come off. Coonelly: No problemo boss….It’s always my pleasure. Nutting: You know….The thing that tickles my innards the most is the fact that JR is finally gettin’ some recognition for the manager he is. Ain’t that great? Huntington: Ummm…..Don’t you remember boss? We fired JR after last season and hired Clint Hurdle. Nutting: Ohhhh…haha!…….I forgot all about that. When I went to see the team take their at bats in San Diego a couple months ago, I thought JR had just gained himself some weight. I guess that was that Hurdle guy…..Wow. Anyway…Moving on…..You know Neal, you had me a little bit scared when we were in 1st place a couple weeks ago. I started hearing we’re gonna add all these high priced players. But I knew better! Huntington: Not on my watch boss. Coonelly laid the groundwork way back in May with his classic, big time lawyer fluff….”We’re not going to mortgage the future.” Our base fell for it like DB Cooper without a parachute. Nutting: Coonelly….You never cease to amaze me. Coonelly: Not a problem boss. You know….Every once in awhile I have to step in and keep a tavern in line, or come up with a statement regarding a game I didn’t even attend. It’s all part of the job of being El Presidente. Nutting: Sure …. Sure. Now Neal….I can’t help but to think this season is gonna buy us time to sell off some of these guys comin’ up to towards that dreaded $5 mil a year mark. I know Major League Baseball has no salary cap…..But I have the Nutting cap! Huntington: Consider it covered boss. We’ll dump at least Maholm, Correira & Doumit for prospects. Maybe even Hanrahan and Karstens. By next July…..I’ll start sending out feelers around the league on Cutch. Maybe we’ll sign him and trade him…..Just like we did with McLouth. We’ve already got the built in excuse that Starling Marte…..Who’s over in Altoona…..Couldn’t be held back by anyone anymore. Coonelly: Ahhhhh……That’s always a good one Neal. It worked before, so it’ll work again. Nutting: Anyway….I’m happier than a pig in a poke with an ear of corn. I believe that’s about it for me comrades. Coonelly: Great!…..Just in time as my souffle and bottle of sparking Le Duc is arriving as we speak. Nutting: Now before we hang up…..I want you all to join in on our secret motto…..I’m gonna say “Let’s keep doing things our way for Pirate fans”…..And you guys chime in with the motto. Sorta like those NFL teams do every Sunday before the game. Ok? Huntington & Coonelly: Ok boss. Nutting: Ok, here goes……”Comrades….Let’s keep doing things OUR way for Pirate fans” Nutting/Huntington/Coonelly: In your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    By Daquido_Bazzini