Look. Sooner or later Matt Diaz is going to go deep. I can feel it in my gut.

Ten Ways the Pittsburgh Pirates Can Keep Losing

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Embrace the losing, Pittsburgh Pirates fans

We have compiled some observations in case the Pittsburgh Pirates want to keep losing.  There is absolutely no charge for reading this information.  Because at RumBunter…. we love to gamble, we are going to share some of our strategy that has helped us lose thousands of dollars at casinos throughout the world.

Again, these are proven ways to lose.  No charge either.  Never say we don’t love you.  Here we go:

Stay up late.

Tip the hell out of the cocktail waitress–you know she wants you.

Keep going all in.

You’re due.  You’ll hit.  Go bigger.

Some of these same secret gold nuggets to losing will also apply to the game of baseball too.  The Pirates can keep up this losing streak by simply applying a few of them each game.

 

 

We certainly trust Clint Hurdle realizes how hard we have worked at putting this together for him.

1. Call a team meeting.

2. Start a timeline and looking ahead at upcoming series rather than just doing the old ‘one game at a time approach.’  That approach sucks.  Trying to be too strategic is a waste of time.

3. Formulate a six man rotation strategy, don’t even think about adding a couple of arms off the waiver wire to add to this staff, and discuss skipping starts with the media to show a perceived lack of faith in players.  The last thing the team should do is sit down  a struggling player like oh….Kevin Correia.  Don’t tell Correia his next start will be skipped. Just tell the media that Brad Lincoln is a possibility.   The player in waiting always makes the struggling player improve their obvious lack of focus, preparation, and ultimately, their performance.

4. Defense is overrated. Start inserting those guys in the lineup that aren’t as strong defensively, but are “due.”

5. Go with hunches more. Managing with the gut more is a sure fire way to keep losing.

6. Bunt more. The game of baseball gives each team 27 outs, that’s insane.  It’s too many.  Give a few of those extra outs back.

7.  Concentrate on getting more productive outs too.  (That will reduce the over abundance of outs the Pirates are given each game)

8.  Work more.  Take more batting practice. Work harder. Press.

9.  Smiles should not exist during losing streaks.  Outlaw clubhouse pranks.

Save Joel Hanrahan, the best Pittsburgh Pirates reliever, for games when the team is winning.

10. Don’t overuse Joel Hanrahan. He is the closer.

In the end, losing builds character. Losing teaches lessons. Only a loser quits during a losing streak.

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