Pittsburgh Pirates announcer Greg Brown has made some unique calls during his long career. One of the more popular ones is during a home run when he screams, “CLEAR THE DECK, CANNONBALL COMING!”
The slew of these cries by Greg Brown have obviously taken their toll on the psyche of Pittsburgh Pirates fans. On Sunday, Gaby Sanchez crushed a baseball that looked like it was headed into the left field bleachers for what would have been a crucial run in the game.
Unfortunately, many of the fans in the left field bleachers acted like it was indeed a cannonball headed for them.
Fortunately for these particular fans, Logan Schafer of the Milwaukee Brewers was there to save their lives.
With the exception of my man in the black, unbuttoned Pirates replica jersey and the retro-adorned lady ‘high-fiving’ the Fox national audience, the rest of the fans in the left field bleachers on Sunday were preparing for the last few seconds of their lives. [BrewGIFS]
As the Pittsburgh Pirates continue down the tracks of the best team in baseball it might be worthwhile for the ballclub to issue a way in which Pirates fans can protect themselves. Sort of like sitting in the emergency exit row on an airplane, if you will.
For those fans in the very important first few rows of outfield bleachers or those same rows down the first and third base lines, a bit of proper body positioning could actually generate more offense for the run-starved Pirates pitching staff.
How can the Pirates do this, you ask?
For the fans in these sections that are too ‘mature’ to bring a baseball glove to PNC Park, perhaps the Pirates should include one of these turn-of-the-century shields attached to the back of the seats in those sections. The Bucs could include some instruction on them.
When a ball is hit off the bat of a Pirates player please do the following:
1. Stand straight up
2. Hold shield in front of your body–(this might require you to put your refreshing Iron City Beer in the cup holder)
3. Don’t freaking move.
Before you laugh off the idea, fans in St. Louis were once given instructions on how to do something much more annoying than generating runs for their team. Just check out this hilarious post by Joe Sports Fan on how the Cardinals taught their fans how to do the wave.
Lets Go Bucs.