Pittsburgh Pirates Call Up Pedro Alvarez, The Youth Have Gone Wild


It’s official. The Pittsburgh Pirates have recalled Pedro Alvarez.  Alvarez will slide on his major league jersey in front of the PNC Park crowd for the first time tonight.  Get your tickets quick. 

So, tomorrow will be an opportunity for the Pirates youth to shine.  It will also be an opportunity for the diehard

fans to go check him out.  You deserve it.  Buy your tickets now, we did.  It’s going to be exciting to see Pedro.  Will he make a difference?  I think so.

But the more important thing is this, the youthful talent will presumably all be on the diamond tomorrow night.  Do you really want to say you missed it?  There is only one debut.  Do it.

You’ve been put down for wearing a Pirates hat in this hilljack town. You’ve been called an idiot for being a Pirates fan.

You’ve been shit on for going to the games. You get loyalty. Some people don’t.  Don’t forget those assholes.

Those hilljacks are talking about going to the games again. Please. Don’t.   You don’t deserve to see Pedro!

I am off to celebrate!

But heh, don’t forget.  Pedro isn’t going to save this team, but he will be fun to watch.

So stop reading this crap all those fans in Canada, Central America, and yes, even overseas.  You have time.  Book the flight.  Get it done.  For those of you a bit closer, pack up the car.  The youth has arrived!  Get your ass to tahn!  I think you’re getting a fever.  Tomorrow is a sick day baby!

Frank Coonelly came through.  Neal Huntington came through.  Pedro Alvarez came through.  Now it’s up to you.  You’re officially on the clock. 

[ And yes, Pirates fans, we officially have a new anthem and I won’t be needing this other Photoshop anymore! ]