Big Ben Roethlisberger Can Host WWE Raw and Your QB Can’t


Ben’s Cardinal Butchers after Flacco was choked out in the AFC Championship

Steeler fans can’t imagine Big Ben Roethlisberger doing anything other than leading the Steelers to championships.  One has to admit that he is quite spectacular at the Super Bowl thing, but even Big Ben needs a moment away from football.  

However just the thought that he would travel to do a WWE show in Wilkes Barre, rather than preparing for the red-hot Detroit Lions has many Steeler fans losing their minds. And the rest of the NFL fans are scratching their heads because your QB is just too….well, you know your QB better than we ever will.  But let’s take a shot at it anyway.

Ben is going to host WWE because Tom Brady is too well let’s call it ‘western’ for the show.  (Although some people think wrestiling is fake and they cheat to win, so Brady could fit right in, but…. seriously, Tom Brady just go do another Stetson commercial.   Tom, just SET YOURSELF FREE. You wild cowboy.)

Big Ben was in the top 10 most handsome QBs according to some jackass handsome meter in the Wall St Journal. The list also included Matt Ryan, Brett Favre, Aaron Rodgers, Matt Hasselback, Kerry Collins, Phillip Rivers, Kurt Warner, come on…Do you really think your QB would put himself in a situation where he might break a nail and get removed from the most handsome list?  Hell No!   

Favre used the convenient ”I am coming out of retirement excuse” so he will be on Monday Night Football.

Do you really think ex-Marine Brenda Warner would allow her Kurt to leave the house? Seriously Cardinal fans that just won’t happen, not when it’s book writing time again?

Eli ManningPeyton Manning?  The Mannings, are you kidding?  Ugh…even Vince McMahon doesn’t need any more heels. Besides the Mannings’ are too busy licking cookies with Donald Trump. The Mannings’ like to be the symbols of the best cookie cream lickers in the world.. Just ask Oreo! OK, neither has been linked to ANY ladies and they are not married. OK we aren’t saying it, but as TO once said, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck?? You know maybe I am saying it.

Tony Romo is almost as good on the golf course as Ben, but in the squared circle?  Nah, it would never happen.  The matches should at least look interesting and Tony falls to pieces when things get interesting, right?  Joe Flacco?  Ditto.  Choke artists are for MMA.

Donovan McNabb, Chad Pennington and Carson Palmer would get hurt walking out of the dressing room. 

Phillip Rivers can do some serious acting and he may be great with a microphone.  But this video of him getting hurt by a phantom might not look great on WWE Raw though, even the WWE does a better job of faking it.

Jay CutlerStick to bodybuilding.

Drew Brees is way too nasty to be on well…you know what, perhaps he could don a Libre mask.  Nah, never mind it would never get over that huge mole anyway.

What?  I forgot your team’s QB?  No.  I.  Didn’t.  Your QB  A.)Doesn’t matter B.)Sucks  C.) Is a Fluke

Big Ben’s charity is cooler than your QB’s too.  Way cooler.  Big Ben 7 Foundation.

Ben is going to put himself and his offensive line in the ring with the steroid poppers, because he is tougher than any QB in the NFL. That’s the bottom line.  Your QB is just a little too soft for WWE.  Cookie licking?  Stetson?  Seriously?