What Do The Pittsburgh Pirates And A Mini Cooper Have In Common?


Today was Fan Appreciation Day at PNC Park as the Pittsburgh Pirates defeated the Houston Astros to take the series.  It was an impressive homestand for the Young Bucs.  The Pirates led by Pittsburgh’s own Neil Walker put on a great show for the fans just as we thought they would.  Most of the promotion looked great, if you’re into that kinda shit.  We’re not.

One thing really turned our stomach.  Obviously someone forgot to tell the Bucs marketing team that Pittsburgh is the home of American steel.

Where is the company from that owns Mini Cooper?  Holy jumping jingle balls, let me get this straight.  Someone seriously thought that the Pirates brand could just give a car away on Fan Appreciation Day and we wouldn’t notice where the car company orginates?  God it’s too easy sometimes.

What in the world does the Mini Cooper brand and our Pittsburgh Pirates have in common?  As usual, we were mystified by the Pirates decision.

But, our crack investigative team was able to get some of the notes from that marketing meeting when the decision was made.  It will give you a better perspective on why the Mini Cooper brand was chosen.  It really makes sense when you think about it…

It’s really easy to get a Mini Cooper to go into a power slide on the road, just like the 2010 Bucs.

A Mini Cooper is the perfect size to take all of those friends of yours to see a Pirates game.


A Mini is small, just like the amount of baseball knowledge in the mind of the owner of the Pirates organization .


A Mini is as foreign as a Pirates starter going seven innings.


Mini Cooper Slogan I:  Always Open.  Like that hole in Ryan Doumit’s catchers mitt. 


Mini Cooper Slogan II:  Everything Without The Expense.  Ahh, that’s perfect for Nuttings 2010 Bucs.


Mini Cooper Slogan III:  It’s A Mini Adventure.  The Pirates aren’t the only organization that does stupid Pirates commercials.

A quick note to the winner: Be careful, just like the Pirates, you never know where the hell that Mini is going:

"But some of you have found your ‘Mini Adventure’ is more a test of your nerves, because a crucial part of the steering system can fail without warning, and drivers can be left fighting for control of their car.FrighteningIt happened to Heather Hinam as she was driving her five-year-old Mini around a roundabout. Heather said: “I came to a roundabout, went to turn the wheel and there was nothing. It was just like the wheel was rigid. So, I wrenched on the wheel as hard as I could. I just managed to get a little bit of movement in it sufficient to get me around the roundabout. It was very frightening.”"