Ohlendorf Exerts His Inner Einstein For Big Money Win

By Editorial Staff

Ross Ohlendorf holds a Financial Engineering

degree from Princeton.  He’s smart, and he knew with any amount of support he would have been a 9-9 pitcher last season.  He deserves the cash.  But how bad is baseball?

Overall we feel the game of baseball leans heavily to the owners of the teams, in my eyes they always win with the way the game compensates its’ players.  Sure there are some wild deals-but when it all shakes out, the owners consistently win.  It’s a crazy game of high stakes gambling, but we certainly don’t think the Pirates saw this one coming.

We think Ross did his homework.  Remember that work he did in college?  The guy knew what the number was.  He stood his ground and in essence, the Pirates got what was coming their way.  They lowballed.  Ross didn’t blink.  He got paid.

And with projections for Ohlendorf near the same production for 2011, an improved Pirates team that is a year olders, and a strong personal offseason effort that has Ohlendorf looking in great shape, the odds are that he will get paid again next season.

If the rumors are true, sooner or later, the Bucs will need to decide it’s not smart to low ball their more talented players.  Or they won’t.  And the talent will walk, or get traded away.  Or worse yet, the Bucs will overpay to have their face of the franchise.  Either way it’s an interesting scenario looming in the Pirates future.

Three experienced big shots heard the case for Ohlendorf:

Robert Herzog who shot down Sean Burnett last year in his case.

Fredric Horowitz who had oversaw three team wins (S. Burnett-Nats, W. Rodriguez-Astros, M. Loretta-Astros) and two player wins (S.Hill Nats, D. Uggla-Marlins.)

Steven Wolf who now has issued six player victories (Ross-Buccos, J. Mathis-Angels, D. Uggla-Marlins, O.Perez-Mets, T. Walker-Padres, K. Lohse-Twins) and five team wins (B.Bruney-Nats, D. Navarro-Rays, F. Lopez-Nats, F. Rodriguez-Angels, J. Affeldt-Royals)

You can’t outsmart Ross Ohlendorf.   Now let’s trust nobody can outwork, outsweat, and out think him on the baseball field.

Because off of the field everyone just saw proof the guy is baby Einstein.


Remember, this Photoshop?    It was from near the middle of the season when Ross kept popping buttons off his jersey….

We asked Ohlendorf about it at PirateFest.  He told us this:

"“I sweat so much that my jersey gets really heavy and that’s why the buttons fly off.”"

So Shitt*, all this time we misrepresented Ohlendorf.  We thought he was the Incredible Ohlendorf.  Instead he’s just a sweaty millionare genius.  My apologies.  Who would have known?

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* Use of swear words like shitt is no longer approved on RumBunter.  The big boss man said we can’t swear anymore, but it’s not censorship…ok, I’m confused.

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