A Stupid Letter To Clint Hurdle



Last night was pitiful.

Pedro Alvarez squared around to bunt? Well at least I think he did, because we destroyed our television and had to listen on the radio. If I recall correctly, weren’t the Pirates winning when that happened?  The whole giving away outs  thing really confuses us.  We thought you told us there were only 27 to use right?

Maybe you’re just frustrated with the kids. Perhaps you are trying to prove a point with Pedro. It must be something really strategic that clowns like me wouldn’t understand. Or maybe, just maybe, it might be you.

We’re not saying you cost us the game, the players lose the game.  We get that point.

Perhaps you didn’t realize how awful the weather is in Pittsburgh? It does suck doesn’t it? But as you say, there is no whining or crying in baseball. Well not since 1992 anyway.

We can understand your frustrations, all of us have lived it for a few years now. It’s just that some of the decisions are a little on the quirky side. The “it doesn’t make a bit of baseball sense side.”  The how does making that decision “reignite a fan base” as you say?

But tonight is the night I am interested in more than any game so far this season Clint.  Your young ball club took one in the balls last night against the World Series champs. But tonight it’s time your Pirates ballblub releases some frustrations.   A win will set up a businessman’s afternoon game against Ryan Vogelsong for God’s sakes.  A win allows the team to take another home series.

Tonight.  Well, tonight a victory is mandatory. All you need Clint, you crazy bastard, is a sacrificial lamb.

San Francisco Giants starter Madison Bumgarner seems a perfect candidate.

He is barely old enough to drink. He was successful in last year’s run to the World Series title for the Giants. But this year he has sucked to the tune of nearly an 8 ERA. His mechanics have been awful. He lasted just 2.2 innings last time out.

Tonight we beg of you to make Bumgarner go away early. Oh yeh, and to not have Pedro bunt when the ballclub is winning.

Frustratingly Yours, I Guess…


P.S. We saw what you said to Cedeno. It must suck having to tell a professional shortstop to run balls out. You probably didn’t need to do that in Texas or Colorado, huh?   Your softly spoken sentences and then that awkward about face in the dugout made even me feel weird.  Good luck with that Cedeno fellow Clint. Here’s to hoping you’re still “all in.” Cuz we are. We got no fucking choice.