Everybody Calm Down
By Jon Anderson

The Pirates are 3-7. You know what would be cool? If you freak out about and start predicting another 100 loss season making statements that this team is going to score 2 runs a game for the entire season. Yeah, that would be awesome.
Stop it. Everybody just be quiet. It’s nearly impossible to be a real Pirate fan and not have a somewhat realistic viewpoint on baseball and sports in general. In fact, I’m sure that almost everybody reading this has their head on straight and realizes that ten games does not mean much of anything. However, there are dozens of people everyday screaming ridiculous things about the Pirates, and it makes them look really unintelligent. I’m using unintelligent because I’m a nice guy and I don’t always say what I want to say to the extend I want to say it.
You want to know the truth? The Pirates aren’t the Red Sox. After you get to about the age of 12 you realize that this game isn’t a level playing field and you can’t lump all the teams together in this regard. Boston is off to a 4-6 start, but they aren’t worried in the least bit. They have a seriously impressive roster, and the Pirates don’t. Sure, the Pirates should worry a bit more about a slow start than the Red Sox, but neither team should read into it.
If I picked any random 10 game span from any season grabbed the team’s record from it, it wouldn’t be correlated to the team’s final record at all, so why does everybody freak out about the first ten games? Anybody? I’d love to hear your thoughts, start yelling them at the screen now please.
1992. That was the last time this team had a winning season. 18 seasons later and you’d think the casual Pittsburgh people would just stop being interested. For whatever reason, everybody pays attention to baseball in April and they use their two weeks of interest to show us how truly ignorant and mentally incompetent they are. To those people I say there’s a Penguin game on tomorrow night that you can watch, that sport fits your mental state better.
There’s 152 games left. If you are going to be pessimistic for as long as you can hold your attention span, I suggest not wasting your time. If you think we haven’t heard every negative comment and every managerial decision picked apart a hundred times, you are horribly wrong. You aren’t breaking new ground by saying that Pedro Alvarez is lazy and unconcerned. Oh, Rod Barajas is a bum that is going to hit less than .100 all season and destroy the whole team buffet every road trip? Yeah, good one bro.
This isn’t anything new. Even if the Pirates do have another horrible season, there are still going to be real fans and writers out there that can deal with it. Leave it to us. If you don’t like it, go watch hockey while you still have the chance.