3 Ways To Get Gregory Polanco in Pittsburgh Pirates Lineup ASAP


By now you have heard about Gregory Polanco. The Pittsburgh Pirates are waiting on Polanco to ‘refine’ his skills at Triple-A.  Wanna bet on when the magical time that the refinement is complete?

We don’t want to wait any longer so we have devised three ways to get Polanco into the Bucs lineup sooner.

The first plan is easy. Bringing up Polanco before June is going to cost some cash.  Pirates fans are very familar with the Pirates finances after being educated on the topic with prospects such as Starling Marte, Pedro Alvarez and Andrew McCutchen.  Since the magic number for an additional six weeks of Polanco seems to be $10 million dollars, this project is going to take some creativity.

Plan #1:   The Polanco Tax.

The Gregory Polanco Tax Plan

Think of it as a sin tax.  We want Polanco so badly, we will pay taxes for him.  Heh, it worked to get PNC Park built right?

The breakdown:  The Pittsburgh Pirates are targeting 2.5 million fans to roll through the turnstiles at PNC Park this season.  Since the campaign started late we will need to retro the fans that already attended games this season.  So each fan will pay $1.18  in Polanco Tax.  Of course, the Polanco Tax will be in place for the next three seasons, but it will be reduced to $1.00 in 2015, 2016, and 2017.

Want Polanco? Pay The Tax!

Plan #2:  Kickstarter

Kickstarter could help get Gregory Polanco to the Pirates this week.

Most of you are familiar with Kickstarter.  It’s crowdfunding and this plan could allow those Pirates fans who aren’t able to attend Pirates games to contribute.  I mean if Evil Dead The Musical has a shot, why not #FreePolanco?

Plan #3:  The Polanco Army

The Gregory Polanco Army

A bit old school, but again, it could be a nationwide fundraising event.  The Salvation Army raises millions ringing bells in numerous locations and does great things with the money they raise.  I think the same could be done with The Polanco Army.

{ Another plan we thought of was to put more ads on Rumbunter, but right now eight per pageview is maxed out.  ]

Of course the easiest way to get Polanco to Pittsburgh would be to pick up the phone.  Dean will make a funny prank out of it.  Polanco will smile, catch a plane and get in the Bucs lineup hours later.  The one downside will be that the Indianapolis Indians Twitter account won’t be nearly as much fun, but everyone has to make sacrifices.  I would include Polanco highlights, but what’s the point?  I have buckets to paint.

Some don’t agree with bringing up Polanco.  But it’s not just Pirates fans that are noticing what Polanco is doing.