Diary of a long-suffering Pirates' fan: Is it time to bring back the old parrot?

The Pirates mascot, the Pirate Parrot was born on 4-1-1979.  He was hatched from an egg at Three Rivers Stadium. 

In 1979 the Pirates won the world series.  Coincidence?

In 1985 the Pirates retired the old parrot and unveiled the new parrot.  The new parrot remains today, though it seems funny to refer to him as “new,” after 38 years on the job.

Many fans know the story behind why the old Parrot was given the heave-ho. Pirate management felt a need to retire the old parrot after the person inside the costume, Kevin Koch, was found to have been part of a drug ring selling cocaine to major league ball players.  This, in turn, led to a scandalous drug trial in 1985, with Kevin Koch, a.k.a. the Pirate Parrot, playing a starring role. Given the bad publicity, this brought upon the baseball world and our Pirates, one can understand that Pirates management probably felt a little uneasy bringing the old Parrot back to promote its product, let alone bringing said Parrot to say a child’s birthday party.  And so the old Parrot was retired after only five years of service, with Pirates' management in effect saying, “We must never speak of this again.” And so under that cloud of scandal the new parrot was born.

But baseball fans, like baseball players and coaches, are a superstitious lot.  If something works, keep doing it, even if there is no rhyme or reason to the “why” of why it is working. 

And so looking at the Pirates mascots from a purely superstitious lens, I can make the following conclusions: under the old Parrot’s cheerleading, the Pirates won.  Under the new Parrot's cheerleading, the Pirates don’t win. 

Be that as it may, the new parrot will be starting his 39th year when the Pirates return from Florida for the home opener.  In the previous 38 years, the new Parrot has no World Series championships.

From an aesthetic standpoint, the new parrot is more colorful, more goofy looking, and less scary than the old Parrot.  He is a mascot that is more kid-friendly in appearance than the old parrot. He is a parrot you can bring to kids’ birthday parties, business grand openings, and breaking new ground ceremonies.  He is lovable and cute. 

But in the loveable and cute parrot’s first year on the job (1985), the Pirates came in last place.  And since 1985, the Pirates and their lovable and cute mascot have been doing this last-place thing more often than most other teams in most other professional sports.

Now, I’m not here to suggest this is the Parrot’s fault.  Bob Nutting has long ago taken up that mantle with the fanbase.

But, can we talk about the Pirates old Parrot?  Is it still too soon after 38 years?  The old Parrot finished its career with a winning record.  The Pirates had 470 wins 442 losses and one world championship when the old parrot paraded the grounds of Three Rivers Stadium.

The New Parrot?  He has authored more losing seasons—including 20 in a row—than I care to discuss.

The old parrot had an attitude.  He almost looks mean.  He used to roam Three Rivers Stadium needling the opposing managers and the umpires and sometimes even the fans. 

Compared to the new parrot’s costume, the old Parrot costume looks cheap. Like something from a cheap high school production.  It’s supposed to be a Parrot but looks like a cross between Howard the Duck and the San Diego Chicken.  Only it's green.  Or at least the body is green.  Somehow, he was given long orange legs.  But all in all, it's a cheap-looking costume.  Cheap.  Does anybody else see the irony in having a cheap-looking mascot?

But after 38 years, can a mascot be forgiven? is it time to bring back the old parrot?  Not to replace the new parrot.  And certainly not to show up at your kid’s birthday party.  But as an additional parrot on game day at the stadium  A parrot with a back story, if you will.  A parrot that can needle the opposing manager and the umpires like the new parrot has not and cannot. 

And could the appearance of the old parrot, by pure coincidence, ignite the young Pirates to a new era of winning?

Probably not.  But we can dream, can’t we.