Pirates fans are in shock over how many premier trade candidates ESPN just linked them to

Somebody pinch us, because ESPN just dropped a list of trade candidates the Pittsburgh Pirates are supposedly “fits” for — and it reads like a fever dream somebody wrote after falling asleep watching MLB Network.

And not in a “Korean reliever you’ve never heard of” way –– in a “wait, those guys?!” way.

Kiley McDaniel and Jeff Passan really looked at the Pirates and said, "Let’s attach them to half the All-Star ballot.”

From Ketel Marte to CJ Abrams, from Steven Kwan to Jarren Duran… this wasn’t one name. It was 12 names. Twelve. That's not a rumor; that's a grocery list.

Let’s just say it out loud, because reading it once wasn’t enough. ESPN linked the Pirates to:

• Ketel Marte
• Jarren Duran
• Steven Kwan
• Brendan Donovan
• CJ Abrams
• Wilyer Abreu
• Yandy Diaz
• Willson Contreras
• Brandon Lowe
• Jake Cronenworth
• Alec Bohm
• Jeff McNeil

That’s the kind of list you expect the Los Angeles Dodgers or New York Yankees to get –– not the team whose free-agent climax is usually a middle reliever with neck tightness.

Pirates fans don't know whether to laugh or cry at ESPN's rumored trade fits

On one hand, Pirates fans have to be feeling pretty good about themselves: “Look at us. Being taken seriously. Being linked to stars. Being discussed like a real franchise.”

On the other: “Yeah… we’ve seen this movie. And the ending is usually a waiver-claim shortstop.”

For years, Pirates fans have been trained not to believe trade buzz, not to trust smoke, not to assume fireworks. We’ve been conditioned to brace for "monitoring the market," "kicking tires" and "checking in –– and never for 12 premier names.

Even if none of these trades happen, here's the thing Pirates fans can take from this: ESPN didn’t do this by accident. This list only happens if the league now sees prospect depth, playroll flexibility, trade assets and a real window. For once, the Pirates weren’t slapped into “rebuild purgatory” — they were dropped into “aggressive buyer fantasyland.”

That alone is new, not to mention intoxicating. But now for the cold water: there is no universe where the Pirates land multiple of these guys. There might not even be a universe in which they land just one. Pittsburgh fans know how this works: ESPN dreams big, Bob Nutting dreams small and reality splits the difference –– usually not in our favor.

Still, even through the skepticism, the eye-rolls, the "here we go again" humor –– this feels different. For once, the Pirates weren't an afterthought. They weren't shoved into the margins. They weren't used as a salary dump. They were at the center of the trade conversation. And whether a deal happens or not, the league just told Pittsburgh fans something they’ve been dying to hear –– that they matter again.

Now comes the real test. Is this just another offseason of being "talked about?" Or is this the one where the Pirates actually, finally... do something?