Pirates make most Pirates signing ever after teasing fans on Framber Valdez

For about five minutes — maybe less — the Pittsburgh Pirates let fans believe something truly un-Pirates-like might happen.

Reports briefly connected Pittsburgh to Framber Valdez, the biggest remaining arm on the free-agent market, on Thursday. And then reality showed up.

Valdez signed with the Detroit Tigers, and within 24 hours the Pirates pivoted to… José Urquidy.

Yeah.

Urquidy isn’t a bad pitcher. That’s not the point. The point is that this signing is so perfectly, painfully on brand that it almost feels like performance art.

After wanting us to believe that they were flirting with a top-of-the-rotation lefty, the Pirates landed on a post–Tommy John rehab arm whose most notable recent contribution was two September relief appearances for the Tigers — one solid four-out hold, one rough outing, and a whole lot of “well, we’ll see next year.”

Welcome to the Pittsburgh Pirates experience.

Pirates sign José Urquidy, give fans emotional whiplash after Framber Valdez tease

Detroit signed Urquidy last spring knowing 2025 would mostly be a rehab year and that the real payoff would come in 2026, but they declined his option before he got the chance to prove himself. Pittsburgh, meanwhile, gets him now. The terms of the deal are not yet known, but it's a low commitment. Low risk. Low expectations. Raise the Jolly Roger.

This is the kind of move the Pirates love because it checks every internal box. Veteran? Check. Pitching depth? Check. Financial flexibility preserved? Oh, you better believe that’s a check. The upside pitch is easy to sell: the fastball velocity is back, the hard contact was limited in a tiny sample, and maybe — just maybe — Urquidy turns into a sneaky mid-rotation piece.

But context matters. This isn’t happening in a vacuum. This is happening immediately after fans were told, hey, maybe the Pirates are actually in on Framber Valdez. Not “monitoring.” Not “checking in.” Aggressively pursuing.

And then — thud.

This is why Pirates fans roll their eyes when optimism is encouraged. The organization didn’t just miss on Valdez; they emotionally whiplashed their own fanbase. Again. You can’t tease filet mignon and then slide a reheated hot dog across the table and act surprised when people aren’t thrilled.

Again, Urquidy might help. He might even start meaningful games. But the move isn’t about Urquidy the pitcher — it’s about what he represents. Another hedge. Another bet on “good enough.” Another reminder that even when the Pirates reach for something bold, they almost always snap back to safety.