Diary of a long-suffering Pirates' fan: Is it time to bring back the old parrot?

The Pirates mascot, the Pirate Parrot was born on 4-1-1979.  He was hatched from an egg at Three Rivers Stadium. 

In 1979 the Pirates won the world series.  Coincidence?

In 1985 the Pirates retired the old parrot and unveiled the new parrot.  The new parrot remains today, though it seems funny to refer to him as “new,” after 38 years on the job.

Many fans know the story behind why the old Parrot was given the heave-ho. Pirate management felt a need to retire the old parrot after the person inside the costume, Kevin Koch, was found to have been part of a drug ring selling cocaine to major league ball players.  This, in turn, led to a scandalous drug trial in 1985, with Kevin Koch, a.k.a. the Pirate Parrot, playing a starring role. Given the bad publicity, this brought upon the baseball world and our Pirates, one can understand that Pirates management probably felt a little uneasy bringing the old Parrot back to promote its product, let alone bringing said Parrot to say a child’s birthday party.  And so the old Parrot was retired after only five years of service, with Pirates' management in effect saying, “We must never speak of this again.” And so under that cloud of scandal the new parrot was born.

But baseball fans, like baseball players and coaches, are a superstitious lot.  If something works, keep doing it, even if there is no rhyme or reason to the “why” of why it is working. 

And so looking at the Pirates mascots from a purely superstitious lens, I can make the following conclusions: under the old Parrot’s cheerleading, the Pirates won.  Under the new Parrot's cheerleading, the Pirates don’t win. 

Be that as it may, the new parrot will be starting his 39th year when the Pirates return from Florida for the home opener.  In the previous 38 years, the new Parrot has no World Series championships.

From an aesthetic standpoint, the new parrot is more colorful, more goofy looking, and less scary than the old Parrot.  He is a mascot that is more kid-friendly in appearance than the old parrot. He is a parrot you can bring to kids’ birthday parties, business grand openings, and breaking new ground ceremonies.  He is lovable and cute. 

But in the loveable and cute parrot’s first year on the job (1985), the Pirates came in last place.  And since 1985, the Pirates and their lovable and cute mascot have been doing this last-place thing more often than most other teams in most other professional sports.

Now, I’m not here to suggest this is the Parrot’s fault.  Bob Nutting has long ago taken up that mantle with the fanbase.

But let’s address the elephant (or should I say the old parrot) in the room.  The old parrot is associated with a drug scandal.  Even though it was the person inside the costume and not the costume itself that was involved in the crimes, the costume gets blamed.  And while most fans do not know this sorted history of the Pirate Parrot, said story would certainly resurface if the Pirates were to attempt a reconciliation with the old Parrot.

And secondly, there would be the problem of the owner.  Even if someone could come around to giving the old parrot another chance, would Bob Nutting be willing to put two parrots on the payroll when he can’t even find it in his heart and in his wallet to pay for a decent free agent starting pitcher? 

But I digress.

Athletes who screw up are given second and third chances all the time.  After 38 years, is it time to forgive the original Parrot?  The only parrot, superstition or not, that ever has been a mascot or a Pirates team that won a World Series championship.

I say, bring him back.