Astros considering coaching change Pirates fans will find unfathomable

A name familiar to Pittsburgh Pirates fans resurfaced this week amid the Houston Astros' search for a new hitting coach.

Chandler Rome of The Athletic reported that the Astros have talked to Andy Haines, who was fired after serving as the Pirates' hitting coach for three seasons from 2022-24, about the position. Haines has a connection to Astros manager Joe Espada, as the two overlapped in the Miami Marlins' system.

To Pirates fans, the idea of Haines joining the Astros staff is absolutely unfathomable – bordering on comedic – for more than a few reasons. Fair or not, Haines became the symbol of the Pirates' offensive stagnation in recent years. His three-year tenure with the club coincided with some of the most frustrating offensive stretches in the modern era of the franchise.

Under Haines' guidance, the Pirates consistently ranked near the bottom of the National League in on-base percentage, slugging and OPS, and they were plagued by strikeout-heavy, pull-dominant approaches that stalled key prospects like Henry Davis, Nick Gonzales and Oneil Cruz. For many Pirates fans, Haines wasn’t just part of the problem; he was the problem, the visible face of a system that couldn’t turn raw talent into production.

The Astros, meanwhile, have spent the last decade being everything the Pirates aren’t: data-driven, efficient and elite at developing hitters. They are famous for elevating players like Yordan Álvarez, Kyle Tucker and a swath of late bloomers through swing decisions and bat path optimization.

The thought of the Astros, of all organizations, turning to the man whose offenses in Pittsburgh were defined by inconsistency and regression feels like a total mismatch. For Pirates fans, it’s like Apple hiring the person who designed Windows Vista.

Pirates fans can't understand why Astros would want Andy Haines as their hitting coach

To anyone arguing that Haines is deserving of a second chance – Pittsburgh was his second chance. Before he joined the Pirates, his previous big league stop with the Milwaukee Brewers ended the same way: with a stagnant offense, a disappointed fanbase and hitters who publicly admitted they’d lost their identity at the plate.

Haines' track record looks like a case study in repetition: when he arrives, production dips; when he leaves, it rebounds. So the idea of the Astros even entertaining the thought of hiring him seems absurdly tone-deaf.

If the Astros have been the model of how to do hitting development right, the Pirates under Haines were the warning label. Seeing those two worlds intersect would feel like watching the honor student copy homework from the class clown. Haines being linked to Houston feels like baseball’s version of a cosmic glitch – the league’s most analytically advanced hitting factory flirting with the man whose tenure in Pittsburgh became shorthand for offensive underachievement.